Teachers and Other Stupids

So, just casually scrolling through my news feed one morning (well, afternoon...I slept in...) when I come across this picture. It's a pair of teachers from my international school, and on their shoulders is this poor gibbon in a t-shirt.

After scrolling through several silly comments about "monkeying around", I was terribly tempted to give these people a rude reminder that GIBBONS ARE APES. That's right. They're in the same family as we are. Surprised? You shouldn't be. Contrary to popular belief, we are actually in the same Family. Which means, lo and behold, we share genetics. Which, guess what? Means we have shared traits.

However, this doesn't mean we should put one in a sweatshirt and start feeding it burgers. This means that they too have feelings, and that they too should be respected. Seeing the dead look in that poor gibbon's eyes ate at my heart. You could clearly read "I give up" all over his features.

And I was disgusted with my teachers. Teachers are really touted as these almighty perfect creatures who we should emulate in our lives. But when I saw this, it kind of woke up a sense of reality in me. Don't get me wrong - these teachers are great people. It's just that same recurring problem - they come to Asia, and they don't know any better. If you're on holiday and someone's walking around with a gibbon and says, "Hey, wanna picture with this cute monkey?" inevitably, as the uneducated tourist, you're going to say yes. I admit, gibbons are terribly cute.

It's just, they're not meant to be kept as pets. Gibbons are the perfect archetype for tree-swinging and morning-singing, and to see them at their best, in the high canopy, free, is a beautiful sight.

So I suffice to say, even the educated are uneducated. If you think someone knows a lot, that doesn't mean they'll know a lot about wildlife, or more importantly, the illegal trade in wildlife, and will just end up supporting it unknowingly. Because I caught even an educator red (well, in this case, white) handed.

Shout Out to Korea

So...Korea! Good job on legalizing whaling!

No really, there's nothing like some honest corpse-inducing research to help preserve endangered species! Especially with those Japanese friends of yours.

You know, historically, you guys don't seem to get along so great. But pull out some anti-whaling activists and BOOM, Japan and S. Korea are best friends.

Now, not to be culturally insensitive, but. You see, you have this great guise you try to maintain that denotes that you're doing scientific research... by harpooning whales ...and keeping them alive for hours...and then dissecting them.... for lunch.

See, where I come from, that's called KILLING FOR CONSUMPTION. Last time I checked (after the 16th century), you didn't have to kill something to study it. Especially because we have great technology now like boats, underwater cameras, wet suits, all this amazing stuff that - guess what - lets you study a whale without killing it! Brilliant, isn't it?

See, my main problem with this is not the fact that you want to do research (it's still one of the issues...) but DUDE YOU'RE NOT DOING IT FOR RESEARCH. Come on, at least be honest. Take the blows like men! Don't hide your short little whale-eating selves behind some big loser government claiming that you have absolutely no commercial interests in the killing of whales whatsoever.

Like I said, I get it. Cultural thing. Like the yellow-finned tuna that you've more or less fished to extinction. Or the 73 million sharks your ever friendly trading neighbors China love to fin for nothing but fun. But I mean, honestly. They're whales. For every whale you kill, you crush the dreams of exactly 34,721 poor children who are raised on stories filled with whales - and who will, at this rate, never get to see one in real life unless they go to Sea World and watch Shamoo. Or they happen to get lucky and watch Animal Planet at a time when there are actually wild animal shows on. But I digress.

I don't know what you're thinking, S.K., but this isn't going to get you many friends. I don't know if you're just generally miserable potatoes over there because of your majorly screwed up education system that leaves your country with the most unhappy teenagers in the world and you just want to inflict the pain of your childhood on a poor unsuspecting whale or just plain off your rocker.

All I have to say is, good day to you, you miserable abusive whale-eating liars. Welcome to the Sea Shepherd Hates You club.

No Sharing!

Recently read a long and detailed article discussing the strife caused at the thought of relocating some of Gujarat's Asiatic lions.

Basically, what I gathered was this:

The entire Gujarati government was sick the day of kindergarten when the teacher talked about sharing. Also, rationality. Or maybe they just never went to kindergarten.

They simply refuse to legitimately consider the fact that there are too many lions for their reserve. In a rare success story, the lions have been taken off the "Critically Endangered" list after a resurge in the population from 30 individuals to now around 400. It's an amazing comeback. But now, they're running out of space. Humans are now coming into contact with them more frequently, and this is one time I can really sympathize with these people getting killed.

Because for once, they're not doing something terribly stupid. They're not super educated, and they don't really know how to handle facing one of these lions. And they're not lashing out against these lions, either - they respect and revere them. It's admirable, how the rural people of Gujarat have dealt with the issue of these lions.

However, the government's efforts to keep an iron grip on their lions is much less than admirable. It's a tourist draw, I get that. But it'll still be a tourist draw. It will be one of two places, rather than one of one. And chances are, people will return to the park that has a reputation versus the one that is only newly established i.e. they will come to Gujarat to see the lions. Calm down.

I think the most important thing to remember here is that they really shouldn't be some original attraction. Not at all. These are animals that supposedly once roamed across Europe and Asia. These are reputedly of the same lineage as lions who were used in Roman colosseums for sport. Why is it suddenly a great horror when  we want to save what's left of this great sub-species?

I can see why they're not rushing to hand the lions over to other states, that don't necessarily have the best track records. I wouldn't trust an infamous burglar with my most prized jewels. But that's an issue that needs to handled regardless of where the lions go - there should be proof that they will be safe, and that the people living around them won't go doing stupid things. But in the end, the fact of the matter is that if something like that Canine Something Nasty disease, or even something much less lethal, come wandering into the park, then you've got a 99% chance of losing all your lions.

And honestly, that would kind of suck.

Rhinos and Things

http://www.rhinoconservation.org/2012/05/04/almost-all-of-the-worlds-javan-rhinos-documented-in-one-video/

This page has a really beautiful video. Also, a very sad one.

Coincidentally, it's the same video.

So basically, someone's managed to compile footage of about 3/4 of the world'd Javan rhino population. Pretty cool, right?

Yes. And no.

Yes, because these are animals that are almost never seen - even park rangers are lucky if they lay their eyes upon one of these elusive creatures.

No, because the video only has 30 rhinos in it. There were more people than that in my school's last graduating class (our entire school has less than 500 people). If you do the math, that leaves only about 10-15 rhinos off the tape. Sad? Most definitely. And the truth is, that's probably how it's going to stay.

The rhino world has had a rather tumultuous year. While they've enjoyed the successful birth of Andantu, a Sumatran Rhino, they've also had to deal with some of the worst poaching rates in the last few decades.

Barely half way through the year, and the number of dead rhinos in South Africa alone was NINETEEN TIMES the number from 2007.

Slacking off? I think yes. If you can have one year where only 13 rhinos are killed, then isn't there pressure to keep the numbers down? I would think so.

To digress, Nepal has actually felt this pressure internationally. And it's done a wonderfully beautiful job. Even if they can't quite fix that Royal family of theirs, they can boast that not a single one of their rhinos was killed last year. How AMAZING is that? I applaud them, admire them. Finally, someone is doing something right. Perhaps South Africa can take a hint or two from them.

But, back on track. Javan rhinos.

We really need to keep up with 'em. We're like, this close (imagine me holding two fingers together) to losing them like we've already lost so many other species. In fact, we've already lost one of the subspecies. Brilliant, right? The Vietnamese subspecies of the Javan rhino (I've always wondered about the logistics of that, giving that I know my geography....) was officially declared extinct some time late last year. Scientists were even so fortunate as to find the remains of the poor dear, who'd, naturally, been killed for her horn.

Which brings me to the last of my rather disorganized and drifting points. Why is the demand increasing? We've got a bazillion different conservation agencies working around the clock to educate people, to patrol, to curb the trade. However, the statistics don't show it - not one bit. We've got all sorts of big numbers showing growing interest (and more murder), and they're only getting bigger.

And while some speculator might think this is absolutely brilliant for the stock market, I might have to disagree. Get your heads out of the dark recesses of the holes you've buried them into and smell the burning corpses/confiscated rhino horn. IT'S NOT RIGHT. It's not medicine; it's not gonna increase your libido and it certainly isn't going to cure cancer.

Go donate your money to a cancer research institute. Don't spend it killing those who can't save themselves.

Trees and Other Endangered Species

So, we’re completely destroying any and all trees within a 2000000 mile vicinity of humanity. And we think it’s just great.

We’ve already almost completely depleted our sources of teak, mahogany, and yellow balau. So we’re just finding new, more unreached places that haven’t been exploited yet, as soon as it becomes too rare and expensive anywhere. Good idea, right?

I don’t know. I think it’s a bit much when you get to the point of exploiting and driving TREES to extinction. How absolutely pathetic.

All you lovely loggers out there: Get off your butt, and go PLANT a tree. Then, sit, watch, and nurture said tree until it is at an age where you can kill it. Or even better, wait till it’s big enough for you to make a table out of just one horizontal slice. Record observations…like HOW FREAKING LONG IT TOOK. Like, oh, I don’t know, maybe a couple decades.

Now tell me that logging is sustainable.

Honestly, if you can find space that is not already being utilized (including by nature!) and find some magic way to fast grow these trees that you love so much for your furniture, toothpicks, and other decorations, then by all means, go right ahead. Plantation grow these trees (I already know it’s barely possible) and make your money that way. Don’t exploit nature’s creation and drive others out of their homes in the name of money!

Oh yeah…you’re humans. Just kidding, that’s not possible. That’s all that matters, after all. How much bloody green PAPER (made of trees, you guys…) you can make in your life time is not, a repeat not a measure of your value as a person.

Look, brah. If you really want all this furniture/toothpicks…

Yeah, I don’t know. Just go plant a bloody tree.

Laws Are For Enforcing

And High Court judges are for paying off, as is apparent in the most recent case of your-government-is-so-awesome-it-ignores-its-own-rules.


Guess what? Our favorite, most notorious wildlife trafficker in the world is on the loose again. Anson Wong, congratulations.  Have fun destroying the lives of a couple thousand more wild animals.


Thank you, ever honorable judge Low Hop Bing. 


So, y'all know that in 2010, our smartiepants trafficker decided it'd be great to shove 95 protected snakes in plastic bags in his luggage and take a holiday to Indonesia. And his bag fell open and there were snakes everywhere and no one noticed the snakes were there until this happened (good airport security, huh?). 


Anyways, he was caught and convicted, for a minimum of five years I believe. And on February 22, court of appeal judge Loh decided this trafficking thing was bogus and that he should serve 17.5 months for what he did.


Coincidentally, Wong had just reached the 17.5 month mark in his prison visit. 


Wonder what the judges reason was for lowering the sentence? "It also erroneously considered irrelevant factors like that the 95 snakes were kept in a small bag and were being tortured."


Irrelevant? Really? What kind of callous, hard-hearted imbecile does it take to believe that this was not cruelty? What exactly do you consider torture, then, Mr. Loh? Waterboarding? What do you consider it then? Some good ol' jolly fun for these snakes? Maybe you'd like me to shove you in a plastic bag in my luggage next time I fly. 


I'd rather enjoy it, since you wouldn't be able to say anything about it. It's not torture, mistreatment, cruelty, or any of that sort of irrelevant stuff. Nope. I won't even erroneously consider it. I might even take the time to make the plastic bag airtight. I'm sure you'd enjoy that, as you seem to think the snakes did (especially the ones that DIED#$@#$!![I have no idea what that spelt, but it looks mean and nasty so I'll roll with it. I'm not actually swearing, k?]).


(insert swear word of choice that's pretty offensive but not too offensive since I don't like those kinds of words all that much to conclude here)

India Rushes Into Action

See what I did there? I know, I know, good joke. India...taking action...quickly... hahahaha!

But seriously. Really guys, it'd be great if you didn't take your time EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. something happens.

On another note, I have to say I'm ashamed to be human half the time. This is one of those times.

So, picture a poor leopard, starving (since people are killing all his food sources...oh, you know, because SAMBAR are now a threatened species...), is wandering around hoping to find something to eat. Stumbles into a village, probably in his habitat, and finds some dudes. I assume they try to do something to him, since the dudes attack said leopard. He returns the favor, injures the dudes, and runs away, thinking that wasn't the best place to be.

So, said dudes run back to their village to whine about their boo-boos, and the entire village decides to hunt down the leopard. Mhm, you heard me right. Fourty villagers decide to hunt the leopard down, armed with a bunch of clubs, instead of calling someone who can tranquilize and relocate aforementioned poor starving leopard.

And they find him (of course they find him, the poor leopard can't travel that fast ya know) and what do they decide to do? No, not scare it off or something more humane. No, they decide to BEAT HIM TO DEATH.

WHAT THE??? I'm not one to swear (no really), but it seems rather apt in this situation. Who's the vicious animal this time? Not the poor starving leopard, I can assure you. It just makes me so mad. Why do this? I thought we disowned the practice of stoning several centuries ago? We live in the age of technology. That means, I don't know, there are better ways to take care of those darn pesky endangered species. Ya know, other than beating them to death. Ughh. People.

We speak of education being an issue. I guarantee that half that angry mob had handphones (they're part of the 4% that lives with handphones but without running water). The information is there, people just don't want to acknowledge it, to use it. It's not to their advantage, it gives them too much responsibility. Wisdom is a heavy burden I guess.

Maybe the best part of it all is the fact that Indian Wildlife Department is "running an investigation" on the whole thing. Leopards are a fully protected species by law, so shouldn't the forty people in the angry mob be convicted?

Oh sorry, laws are selective where they come from. We can choose when they're applied.

PS This is one situation of 356 reported leopard killings in India in the last year. Meaning about 1500 leopards actually died last year.

Asia is the Answer. Surprise.

"As Asia grows wealthier, so, too, the trade in wildlife."

Never have I heard truer words written in an article.

I don't know about you, but I find something very disturbing about the statistics that have just been released about this last year. All I hear on the TV is Asian growth this, Asian business model that, the success of Asian markets. All I see with my eyes? Wildlife, pushed to the brink. Wildlife, with nowhere to go. Wildlife, dying for no other reason but someone's entertainment, someone's placebo. Should their lives really be thrown away so carelessly?

According to the article, in 2001, only 6 rhinos lost their lives to poachers. In 2011, 400 were brutally murdered for their horns. The cartilage horns that happen to grow on their noses appear to be a death sentence. But you know what's worse? These are only official numbers. Think about how many rhinos that have been killed that we just don't know about.

I have to say, my soft spot for rhinos has grown. You look at them from far away and just think, wow. How impressive. How regal. But today I spent about half an hour with the sweetest rhinos in the world. And honestly, it just hurts to think that so many of them are dying. I can't imagine it. They aren't malicious; they're scared. I don't understand how a person so blatantly invade an animal's personal space, then turn around and blame the animal when something goes wrong.

Human lives matter, sure. But what about everyone elses' lives? I talked to someone about whether wildlife trafficking and the illegal wildlife trade bothers them... and all she could say was that she'd be more concerned if people were being hurt. BUT PEOPLE ARE THE ONES DOING THE DAMAGE!!

I dare her to go up to those rhinos I saw today, with the sweet eyes and the trusting attitudes, and tell them she was going to kill them. The rhinos that nuzzled my hand, and the ones that rolled over in the mud and looked just like any cat or dog that wanted a belly rub.

Tell them that their lives mean nothing. Tell them that you don't care. Don't tell me.