Shout Out to Korea

So...Korea! Good job on legalizing whaling!

No really, there's nothing like some honest corpse-inducing research to help preserve endangered species! Especially with those Japanese friends of yours.

You know, historically, you guys don't seem to get along so great. But pull out some anti-whaling activists and BOOM, Japan and S. Korea are best friends.

Now, not to be culturally insensitive, but. You see, you have this great guise you try to maintain that denotes that you're doing scientific research... by harpooning whales ...and keeping them alive for hours...and then dissecting them.... for lunch.

See, where I come from, that's called KILLING FOR CONSUMPTION. Last time I checked (after the 16th century), you didn't have to kill something to study it. Especially because we have great technology now like boats, underwater cameras, wet suits, all this amazing stuff that - guess what - lets you study a whale without killing it! Brilliant, isn't it?

See, my main problem with this is not the fact that you want to do research (it's still one of the issues...) but DUDE YOU'RE NOT DOING IT FOR RESEARCH. Come on, at least be honest. Take the blows like men! Don't hide your short little whale-eating selves behind some big loser government claiming that you have absolutely no commercial interests in the killing of whales whatsoever.

Like I said, I get it. Cultural thing. Like the yellow-finned tuna that you've more or less fished to extinction. Or the 73 million sharks your ever friendly trading neighbors China love to fin for nothing but fun. But I mean, honestly. They're whales. For every whale you kill, you crush the dreams of exactly 34,721 poor children who are raised on stories filled with whales - and who will, at this rate, never get to see one in real life unless they go to Sea World and watch Shamoo. Or they happen to get lucky and watch Animal Planet at a time when there are actually wild animal shows on. But I digress.

I don't know what you're thinking, S.K., but this isn't going to get you many friends. I don't know if you're just generally miserable potatoes over there because of your majorly screwed up education system that leaves your country with the most unhappy teenagers in the world and you just want to inflict the pain of your childhood on a poor unsuspecting whale or just plain off your rocker.

All I have to say is, good day to you, you miserable abusive whale-eating liars. Welcome to the Sea Shepherd Hates You club.

Tigers vs. People

How is it that, no matter the circumstances, the animals are always the ones who are at fault? Humans are always the victims. When a tiger kills a human, much more effort is taken to catch that tiger and kill it, compared to the lame attempts to capture poachers and animal abusers, with even more lenient sentences. Tigers are not the only carnivores that suffer from this kind of treatment.

For every shark that kills a human, a human kills around 250,000 sharks. Fair, huh? Even the most common of sharks are at risk because their fins are ‘good to eat’. Just like tiger…er…parts…are good for libido. And bear bile cures heart disease. You can’t believe everything people believed hundreds of years ago, whether it’s to preserve culture or not. Some of it is just plain bogus! And I mean, who in their right minds wants to put that sort of stuff in their mouths anyway?

Still, I think people look past basic facts to make themselves feel better. Don’t get me wrong, I feel sorry for the villagers who’ve lost family members…oh wait, sorry, the people the tigers killed were illegal deforesters. It seems fair enough that the tigers want these people out, you would want someone out of your house if they just knocked down the door one day and started removing your couch and dresser and raided the kitchen. And kept doing it!

People are angry at starving tigers, who, without any other source of food, attack livestock and people. Well it’s not the tigers’ fault humans have not only destroyed their habitat, but depleted their food source. Have some sense, it’s a food chain, can’t be that hard to understand. Here, I’ll illustrate a really bare-as-bones version.

Alright, so what’s really happening is that the humans come, kill the plants, and then kill the quiet cute herbivores. What’s left for the tigers to eat?

That’s right kids. Nothing.

AND YOU WONDER WHY THEY’RE KILLING PEOPLE?